Monday, 24 August 2009

Healing After A Breakup - The 8 Stages You Can Expect To Go Through After Your Split!

So you've split with your partner and the big break up has happened. So what now? Now you will have to go through the 8 separate stages of the healing process. There's no point in fighting it, just let your emotions run their course and prepare for the healing process after a break up:-

1) Shock - It just won't seem real. Did it really happen? Is it really over for good? This is your brain's way of trying to block out the pain. Just take it as easy as possible during this stage. This is likeliest time for a real drastic change of behaviour. Beware of getting nasty tattoos, shaved hair or outrageous piercings!

2) Denial - This is the stage where you keep telling yourself it's OK. You believe you're just on a break and you're bound to get back together soon. The fact that you're meant to be together no matter what! This is the time you start to torture yourself because it feels great. Overusing the tweezers and pulling around on that loose tooth!

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3) Numbness - Life doesn't really seem to matter that much anymore. You think you're over your ex. You think because you're not crying anymore, perhaps you don't really care about the split anymore. You tend to not feel hungry, basically you don't feel passionate about anything anymore. The best advice i can offer you during this stage - napping and sleeping!

4) Fear - I'm sure we all know this stage. But once again it is just a small part of healing after a break up! "What happens if no-one ever finds me attractive again?" "Will i ever go on a date again?" "Will you live to your dying day as a lonely old spinster or bachelor?" The best thing to do is talk to friends about your fears during this stage. Tell them your innermost worries. Hopefully this friend can snap you out of it and install some much needed self confidence.

5) Anger - "How could i ever of loved a cheating, no-good nobody like them?" This is when you feel a "realization" that you never did all the things you talked about as a couple. You feel as though you have missed out on loads of things. You have been held back and you feel angry. During this stage, find a healthy way to get rid of this excessive anger and hatred. Try strapping up the gloves with a personal trainer. A half an hour spurt of boxing should do wonders. Basically do things to take your mind off the anger. Anger is a natural part of healing after a break up. Revenge, however, is not a good idea!

6) Depression - "No-one loves me!" "I've got no friends, no-one to talk to!" You want to stay in bed all day long and eat cookies and ice-cream. If the depression is getting way too much and you are having suicidal thoughts, then get professional help straight away.

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7) Understanding - This is when you realise that you learnt a lot from this relationship. You have done your healing after a break up and it dawns on you, it just wasn't meant to be. I guess you're finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

8) Acceptance - You know that neither of you were perfect, you both had your faults. You were just meant to be together for the time you were together. It's now time to start looking for those plenty of other fish in the sea!

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